RELATIONSHIP MATTER: The dangers of undefined relationships

I was in a relationship with a boy for so many years. We were so close that I assumed he would definitely propose to me when he was ready to marry. Surprisingly, he never proposed to me and last year, he wedded. 

We have been in relationship for over five years and have discussed everything a man and a woman can discuss in relationship except marriage. He had several times told me that he loves me without adding that he'll like to marry me. What do I do as I'm not getting any younger and badly desire to settle down.

The above confessions show a common mistake singles (mainly girls) make in a relationship. They often think any man that comes very close to them is serious to marry them. Friendship is not engagement and engagement is not marriage. 

Someone may like your outlook, enjoys your company, seeks your advice, appreciates your kindness etc. Yet, they have no strong desire to live with you as husband and wife. 

Moreover, a man looking for a spouse is like someone buying something in an open market. Even while he's haggling price with the vendor, he can still be attracted by a better ware around him. So, the vendor should not conclude that he would buy until he has paid for the goods.

Friendship is not marriage, it's not engagement. "Love and like" are not the same. "Like" is a mere feeling that can be stirred up by physical or moral attraction while "Love" is commitment even in the absence of feelings. This is why in administering marriage vows the priest will ask the partners to say they will remain committed to each other "for better or worse; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health....till death do us part". 

This implies that they will be committed to each other in any and every situation. Until couples are committed to each other to this extent, they are not particularly married, even if they share the same bed. 

Also Read: Relationship tips: See these 11 little things that lead to break-up in relationship

When a girl following a boy with a mere assumption that he loves her and vice-versa, they are in TROUBLE!

Remember, marriage is not a secret affair between a boy and his girlfriend. No! It involves families of the boy and that of the girl, culture, relations, the church, colleagues and friends etc. 

Let the right thing be done in the right way if you are to achieve the right result. By the time your parents, pastors and church elders are involved, your partner cannot just pull out. They must consider not only their own reputation but that of others involved in the entire process with them. 

BE WISE!!